blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
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