Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
My feet surprised me
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
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