You work out of a Hotel?
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
