I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Randomize
