have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
