I feel like abortions should bother me more
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
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