She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
