If that was your dad, he is hot
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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