My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Randomize
