I can't watch pbs sober anymore
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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