I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
