I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
