Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
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