I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
