so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
