Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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