He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Randomize
