Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Im part way to drunk.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
