She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
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