Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
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