so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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