I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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