I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
