i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize