I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Randomize
