you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
now i know why i became what i already was.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
