Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Is Oprah even human
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
