Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Its about making memories worth repressing
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
