Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
