I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
