come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
