Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Randomize
