So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
