I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
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