I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Randomize
