As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
