I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
