i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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