my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Randomize
