He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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