just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
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