Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize