I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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