Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Come on in and take your pants off
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