Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
