so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
