Everything about him screamed your future.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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