My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
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