Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
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