I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
