so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
