i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
