Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
