I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
