when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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