piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I'm experimenting with sincerity
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize
