How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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