Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Randomize
