toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I have feelings that need drinking.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
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