Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Randomize
