Grow some girl-balls and come out already
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
