Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
