The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
