I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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