8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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