the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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