bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
