I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
We're too hungover to prance.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Randomize