I'm really into asian looking animals
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
