My liver just broke up with me...
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
