were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
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